My God doesn't love me
by Cherry Blossom
Summary: an explanation of my religious views
1. Default Chapter

~*~*~*~*~

My God doesn't love me.

Which is fine with me, really. 

Why should there be a mutual affection 

for that which cannot even be 

or identified with?

I don't love the air

But I breathe it in and it sustains me

Gives me life

Surrounds me without invading me.

The air does not love me

But it is the reason I live.

~*~*~*~*~

My God doesn't hate me

Like storms on the sea don't hate me

Or tornado's or earthquakes.

They have no special designs on my misery.

They don't wish pain or allegiance.

They just move inside the sphere of the earth

Like me

A part of nature

Like me

Like my God

Who is there inside each bud

Each leaf

Each blade of grass

Inside me

Inside all that lives and a part of all that contributes to life itself.

~*~*~*~*~

My God created me

And the earth

And life

But not with the intention to have followers

Or worshippers

Lovers

Children

Conqueror's of the earth

Victims

Flunkies

Experiments

Nothing like that

Did my God have in mind.

~*~*~*~*~

My God created me 

because that is the function of the Creator

To create

Create life

Which my God is still doing

Every day

Every second

Everywhere

Where there is life

There is my God

And where there is not life

My God waits patiently

For the opportunity to do work

~*~*~*~*~

My god has no fear

No anger

No kindness

No love

No passion

No person

No face

No hatred

No discrimination

No plans

No battle

No ultimatum

No heaven

No hell

No rewards

No justice

None of these things

Does my God concern itself with.

~*~*~*~*~

My God is not truth

My God is not good

My God is not love

My God is only life

Which does not have to be pain

And suffering

And hardship

Only what we make it.

~*~*~*~*~

I do not have to return to nature

Because I am nature itself

As a creation of Life

A creation of my God.

~*~*~*~*~

"How," they ask me, "How can your God not be good or evil?"

And I say to them

Life is not good nor evil. 

Death is not good nor evil. 

It simply is. 

So is my God.

"There must be something more," they rant. 

"I need something more then that."

~*~*~*~*~

I am sorry if you need more.

The plants do not seem to need more.

The animals do not seem to need more.

Why, as humans, do we need more?

"A purpose!" they shriek. "What is our purpose?"

To live of course. That is the purpose of any living thing.

But still the chant continues

"There must be something more.

I need something more then that."

What do you need?

"Justice! An explanation! 

Why is there pain? 

Why is their sadness?

There must be a reason for it.

A kind of test of loyalty.

A plan.

Anything!"

~*~*~*~*~

We have made the pain ourselves.

We have offered ourselves sadness.

We have chosen a pattern

And decided a "right way to live"

When life has no right way.

And because we believe we are living the right way

We accept pain

And suffering

And sadness

As the price for this pattern

When really there is no need

To pay a price at all. 

~*~*~*~*~

We are special creatures

Yes, very special

With the gifts of language

And the ability to tell stories

To piece together information

Until it shows a whole picture.

But my God meant for all creatures

To reach the level of awareness

We humans obtained,

Pioneers in the field

But not chosen

Not driven

Not born to rule over earth

But be part of it.

~*~*~*~*~

"What of heaven?

What of life after death

A reward for the faithful

Recompense for those who suffer now?

What does your God say of that?"

My God says that Life was our reward

What we accomplish with it is up to us

And suffering never needed to be such a constant in our lives

We made it so

We can unmake it

If we so choose.

"Impossible to change now."

Maybe so.

But this is no fault of my God.

My God only wishes to create life.

~*~*~*~*~

"What of morality?"

What of it?

If I wish to live without fear or pain or restriction of freedom

Then I will not inflict fear, pain, or restriction of freedom on others.

It is only sensible.

My god need not tell me that.

~*~*~*~*~

"I will never believe in your God," they tell me.

"I will always praise my Lord, the one true God.

You cannot convert me."

I do not need to convert you

Or convince you

Or gather your praise for my God.

You are living.

That is all my God strove for.

The air does not require thanks, or praise.

You may believe whatever you wish.

When you breathe my God is there

And when you breathe no more my God will search

For a place where new life can begin.

~*~*~*~*~

My God does not love me.

I do not love my God.

But as long as I breathe I am a testimony of my God's ability

To create

And that is all I am required to be.

The rest is up to me.


	2. continued

~*~*~*~*~

My God seems so horrible to you

But why should that be so?

My God does not judge

Condemn

Punish

Abuse

Allow injustice or suffering

Maybe I should have given my poem the title

My God does not hate me

Because that is also true

~*~*~*~*~

But then

Would that make a difference in your minds?

You say that life would not be worth living

Without the love of my God

Why?

Why do I need the love of my God so badly?

It is enough that I am given life

This precious gift

This wondrous world to wander in 

Hands

Feet

Arms

Lips

All this and more

Has my God given me

I do not require love from the creator

And certainly not unconditional love

~*~*~*~*~

Why are you so scared of simply existing?

To exist is an amazing thing

That beings should live

Grow

Touch hands

And return back to the earth that nourished them

Is this not miraculous in itself?

What need have I for heaven

When all this surrounds me?

You say that sorrow is human nature

Maybe it is

~*~*~*~*~

But I tell you now

Suffering is not human nature

Nor has it ever had to be

Man was not doomed from the start

We are not cursed beings

Nor are we unnatural

How can we be,

When we are part of nature itself

As sure as any chrysalis

Or deer

Or cherry blossom

Carefully crafted

With my God sparking the fire of life in each of us

With no classification in mind

Saying "you are to rule" 

And "you are to serve"

My God says 

To all of its creations

Live and be content

For the spark of life can last as long as a heartbeat

And you must choose wisely how you will spend that heartbeat

For I cannot choose for you

~*~*~*~*~

So

But just because my God does not love me

Does not mean that I live my life

In the absence of love

Rather I have found an overflowing fountain

Of the most tender of loves

And compassion

Which at times, I think, can be even greater then love

In those who I have touched

And who reach out to touch me

In this brief heartbeat we share

All the more precious for its fragility

~*~*~*~*~

And just because my God does not love me

Does not mean that my God does not love

If your interpretation of love

(if such a thing can be interpreted)

is anything like mine

The act of creation is an act of love

As any artist

Or writer

Sculptor

Master craftsman

Or poet will tell you

The miracle at making something wonderfully complex

And yet simple and clear as rainwater

Breathing life into what was once dead

Breathing life into that which has not been

Mathematically perfect system

With the cracks and flaws that show individuality

A weakness for those who require perfection

A blessing for those who treasure their rarity

~*~*~*~*~

My God's love is for creating

But not for its creations

And really I must copy

When I say that I love not each individual word

But the simple pleasure

Of combining them to form a pleasant sound

And quiet thought

And cool reflection

That is why I write

Not for the story

But the process and the joy I take from it

The act of love I am committing

By creating

~*~*~*~*~

You say that my God is false

And that one day I may see the truth

And I must shake my head politely

And commend you for your faith

Or stubbornness

Whichever it is it is of no matter to me

You may believe what you wish

My God cares not what religion

Its creations use to soothe and comfort them

When society has made them turn to such comforts

But I do not fear non-existence

Or existence for existence's sake

With no purpose or plan mapped out for me

To give meaning to my life

For I know that life has meaning

With or without religion

Because I am here now

One heartbeat melting into thousands

Imprinting myself into the earth

Like a depression of my body in grass

Imprinting myself into the minds of others

Who touched and were touched by me

Imprinting myself, my act of love, on paper

So that others can see my spark

Long after it has expired 

~*~*~*~*~

You say I am not liberated

But I claim that I am more free then you

Who must earn the acceptance of your own God

Who cannot embrace you with the imperfections 

He himself gave unto you

I do not require the acceptance of my God

My joy in living is enough 

My God requires no love or allegiance from me

That I live is my God's joy

~*~*~*~*~

The world is not horrible

The world is not cruel

Or out to get us

Or something to be tamed

Conquered 

Subdued

Civilized

It is our home and our womb

Our mother and our child

A delicately balanced system

Where we once fit happily

And can do so again

But it is not my God's job

To ensure that we uphold the balance

Correct us when we are wrong

Wage war for our souls

We must make ourselves work

For a better future

And not expect divine intervention

And an afterlife in which to repair our mistakes

Know what you are

But always strive for what you can become

That is the passion and beauty 

of humanity

  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  



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